The more I watch her the stranger I feel. I should hate her, but she is impossible to hate. Now that I'm away from her I want so bad to break her, but as soon as I get near her my heart melts. And it isn't even a soft, harmless melting. No, it's by fire and it hurts so badly. Somehow I still find so much pleasure in that pain. As strange as it might sound my every cell screams for more just when it's worst. I wonder if this is because I was created to match her perfectly, to be her half so I would be able to destroy her. However this perfect matching resulted in something else. She is my 'half' as I am hers. And every bit of my incomplete being longs for her. I want to be rid of this feeling but I can't imagine myself without this bittersweet pleasure. So deep, so intense, so sweet and so harsh, it has trapped me completely. I am but a slave of this burning flame, but I can break the chain, I know I can. I can kill her so easy and free myself from this cell of agony.
However the agony is too sweet to let go. It's the deepest and most beautiful feeling, as tearing as it is. It's destroying me but also giving me the power of a phoenix. My rebirth through fire! In what will it result? I am so eager to see this new being, to test its power, to wonder at its beauty, to force its weaknesses just as I did with this existence that now feels so empty. I want the flame, I want the pain, and I want death and rebirth. How can that stupid creature give me all that I long for, I don't know. Maybe she is not what she seems; maybe she is more powerful than all three of us united, as she is able to give me such an intense experience. Life on the peek and in the abyss-that's what she offers; and how I long for such an existence.
However I have to wake up; to control myself. No phoenix for me! We have to destroy them; it's the reason why we exist! With their blood finally in my palms I will be at peace. No flames, no agony, just us. But peace is dull. Do I prefer it over this pain and unrest? No! I will drink her blood to see if it burns me in the inside; I will rip her meat to feel the same sweet pleasure; I shall break her bones until I feel the same exhaustion that I feel now; I will burn what remains and place my hands in fire until they seem to melt like my soul now. Oh, but she will become ash, and from that ash nothing will emerge. How full I will feel spitting on that ash, but for how long? Raping a corpse can fill you just for a short time. What will I do next? Will I be able to experience something as deep as now? Will anything give me the power to be reborn? How will my life be after that one glorious moment? Should I choose that moment over this agony, this pain that fills my days? I want to kill, but I also want to be killed, to taste the deepest pain and greatest happiness, to know heaven and hell. How can I do it after I eliminate the very source of this experience?
Am I the only one who feels this? Why my brothers aren't moved one bit by the other two sisters? They only have hate, I have more than that and it burns worse than hate. If only they knew, if only they could feel this too, if only they could see that this is greater than simple killing. If only I could make them feel it too. But I can't and I can't betray them, not even for the deepest pleasures in the world. I have to get this outside of my mind and heart; I have to get myself to kill her.
Hear that sweet rose? I will rip your petals and scatter them in the wind; I will cut your thorns; I will tread on every little piece of you. I hope you'll cry, I hope you'll scream and beg for mercy. You will suffer sweet thing, I will make you suffer as bad as I do. You have to die slowly and in pain, so I can fill myself with enough delight to help me live as long as possible. You'll be wood for my fire of life and I won't allow you to burn fast. Make peace with yourself dear Bubbles, you are going to die.